Always dress seductively when on an extended drive in your vehicle. Odds are the state trooper that pulls you over will be male.
Always carry $75 dollars cash in your car. This way you will not have to drive to Cambridge at the crack of dawn on Monday morning to get your driver's license back.
Just because your driver's side window doesn't work, doesn't mean said state trooper will feel bad for you and not give you the ticket.
Apparently there is a zero tolerance law in Illinois against going more than ten miles per hours over the speed limit and the trooper "couldn't have given me a written warning even if he wanted to." Please refer to number one.
I've never been so glad not to have the dog with me because at this point I would probably in jail for "assault with a massively retarded weapon."
I developed six degrees of separation from Sacagawea while waiting for the trooper to fill out my ticket.
And I learned why everyone is drawing T's behind Lowe's in that one commercial. It spells lowest as in prices. Big Bad had to explain in to me. I'm going to be a doctor.
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4 comments:
a post on a sunday from home??? impressive... and hilarious
I have to admit that it also took me quite a while to figure out the Lowe's thing. Embarassing, isn't it??
P.S. Sorry about the ticket.
I'm still waiting to hear how you're only five degrees of separation from Sacagawea. Also,"assault with a massively retarded weapon"? That's LOL material right there.
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